The All New Adventures of The Slug
Chapter 2: One Step At A Time

I've been reading lots and lots of articles talking about social networking. This is where folks sign up for various services so that they can use services to show other folks how cool they are.

There are, of course, a few shortcomings with systems like this. The first being, that you have to have friends to begin with.

This is obviously missing a massive market of hermits, recluses and sociopaths that will go completely untapped by this brave new technology. But how on earth do you possibly approach an isolationist and get them on-board with this fantastic new marketing program technology? Sure, you could dress up like a girlscout with a few boxes of cookies, but once you even give a glint of the Amway products inside, you'd better have good running shoes.

No, the best way to serve the kool-aid to those that would much rather be left alone, (or even those that society would rather be left alone from) is to create a new technology.

And that's why I'm proud to introduce Tiny Empire©. Tiny Empire™ uses easy to understand, state of the art technology to provide you, the modern empire builder with the ability to amaze friends and family by who you know. Even better, using Tiny Empire® patented technology, you don't even have to know the person who you've claimed to be your friend. Simply enter their name into your Tiny Empireº Brand Contact Sheet however you see fit. Type it in, Write it in, Even scrawl it in with warm human blood, it just doesn't matter. Soon, you'll be able to fill your Tiny Empire¤ with legions of the oblivious who will certainly do your bidding*.

Supplies are limited! ORDER NOW!

*the term "do your bidding" means perform the same actions they normally would be performing. Performace may be effected by actual verbilizations, concious thought, or spittle covered invectives screamed by you and/or other Tiny Empire¬ users. Best kill them so they don't mess things up for you.**

** by "kill" we mean take them out to a nice restaurant and have a good heart to heart discussion about things. "Heart to Heart" does not mean removal of any organs

Previous Chapters:
JAN Feb 2004
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
Free, Fresh, Original Stories