Frankly I was shocked. Shocked and horrified.

I found her last night, in bed, slowly turning the pages, tiny gasps escaping her throat only to combine with deep, gutteral ooh's and moans of wanton joy. It was horrifying, knowing that I could never, ever compete with that sort of wanton lust.

She was oblivious to me, caught up in the seductive glossy pages.

It had come and I would simply have to be second choice.

I hate it when my wife gets a new shoe catalog.