I wanted to apologize for the fact that I haven't been able to keep up with my rants, email, forum, guest apperances on Regis, bowling center openings, charity events, secret crime-fighting identity, tours of duty aboard mobile armour suits, hotdog eating championships, extra-terrestrial flight control, morning radio personality, beating up kindergardeners for their lunch-money, arms inspections, book writing, and page coloring, I've been swamped by work, home, rotating the house fifteen degrees clockwise, judging the greater Wisconsin bird call championships, NASCAR pace car driving, secret CIA operative missions, connecting grieving families with their departed pets, finding the cure for hang-nail, helping to deliver fresh water to the dolphins near Bali, perfecting my recipie for Haggis, and of course, teaching my time-management course.

Thank God i gave up slee